I AM STILL HERE

I just don't get it.
It -being defined as the objects of pandoras box.
It being defined as- 
the pain
the loss
the hurt 
The things that I should have gotten over-
but still hold me under. 
My soul 
feels like its drowning. 
I am trying to breaststroke in quicksand and
I don't know how to swim.
Ironically, 
I don't want to be saved. 
I want to survive using my own means. 
I need to learn how to trust my own capabilities. 
I need to learn how to believe in me. 
I am tired of looking into the mirror.
Who is she? 
Where is she?
No response. 
When my reflection smiles, 
she is mocking me. 
I am still not whole. 
I still have work to do.